Episode 111: Ruffin' It: A Road Trip Adventure
Carolyn Hochlowski never liked the outdoors. But when she turned 36 she realized life was passing her by. So she bought a cheap tent and sleeping bag and set off on a solo road trip across the country with a dog named Thor.
Megan Feighery
From Wyoming Public Media, this is HumaNature. Real stories where humans and our habitat meet. I'm Megan Feighery. This time a woman sets out on a cross country trip with a borrowed dog and no plan.
Carolyn Hochlowski
I was like, Oh, God. Oh, what did I get myself into? Sleeping in the car for two hours at 3am. Maybe this isn't for me. And maybe I should just crawl into bed, say nevermind and tell my parents they were right.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn Hochlowski lives in Wappingers Falls, New York in the Hudson Valley. And to say that she was never an outdoors person is a bit of an understatement.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Growing up, I was just an indoor kid. And somewhere in maybe the nine to 10 year old range, my parents decided that it was time for us to start going on camping trips. I have a sister who's two years younger than me. So the four of us would get in the station wagon with the clamshell and my mom's family is originally from the Adirondack Mountains. So we would go to a little town affair and go camping and I immediately hated it. It was a hard no. I don't swim. I don't fish. I don't like lakes. I can't see the bottom. I don't want to touch rods or dirt. It was just nonsense to me. Just put me back inside. There is a semi famous photo in my family. And I'm in the car reading Les Miserables on a camping trip. And after that year, they left me with grandma.
Megan Feighery
That aversion to the outdoors followed Carolyn into adulthood. But as she got older, Carolyn realized there was a lot more she wanted out of life, more she wanted to do. She hadn't traveled much and had a lot of things on her bucket list.
Carolyn Hochlowski
I always wanted to go cross country, drive to California and back. I started thinking about it in my late 20s. Maybe I should do something before I get married and have kids and just cross country with some friends that I couldn't get anybody to go with me. But I never wanted to do it by myself. That was not ever in the plan.
Megan Feighery
When she turned 36 Carolyn decided to pull the trigger, though she says she was kind of pushed into it.
Carolyn Hochlowski
It's a very eye-roll thing I did it for a boy. I had met someone to mid May. And by mid-August, I was going cross country along with his dog. He was kind of like someone who has done everything, seen everything then everywhere. He's like, Well, you should do that. I was like, Yeah, but you're coming with right. No I don't have time for that go by yourself. And I said, Hell no. That's terrifying. And he said, take Thor and I said, Okay. I was just so infatuated at the time. He says jump, I'm gonna jump. So I did it. He opened the door, but I was the one who drove the car. You know, he was not there with me. I did that.
Megan Feighery
Thor was her boyfriend's dog. He's a big dog, a mix of a lab and a cattle dog.
Credit: Carolyn Hochlowski
Carolyn Hochlowski
I had only been around the dog a little bit, for a couple months when he set this whole thing up. Just was told that he was good at traveling. Would be fine on a road trip that it wouldn't be you know, we wouldn't have any issues.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn was grateful to have Thor for company. It made her feel safer. Carolyn still felt a little scared and nervous but also excited. And she knew she should probably start planning.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Ah, it was 90% winging it. And I said if I plan too much, and I see something cool, I won't be able to stop because I'm gonna have an agenda or timeline. I bought like a $40 pop up tent off Amazon. I brought my sleeping bag from my childhood camping trips. That's about all the planning I did.
Megan Feighery
The only thing Carolyn knew for sure was that she wanted to end her trip by touching the Pacific Ocean, specifically at the Santa Monica Pier in California. Everything else she would leave up in the air. The day finally came and Carolyn set off with Thor.
Carolyn Hochlowski
I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew exactly how it was gonna go. I left from New York City. And I was like nervous but but looking back and having experienced it, I was not appropriately nervous. At the time, I had the plan that every day I was going to drive, I was going to stop by sunset and I was going to write in my journal and drink tea and read my book and go to bed. And that is not how this work. I was just really delusional, happily, joyfully, joyfully delusional about how it was gonna go down. Yeah, so that's I just remember my mindset being that as someone who has clearly never done this before, and doesn't know what's coming.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn didn't have a firm itinerary. But she only had two weeks to get to California and then back home to New York. So the first few days, were just driving.
Carolyn Hochlowski
With all due respect to Pennsylvania, it's really, really long, and really, really boring to drive through. So in the first two days, there's not much so you're just driving, and there's nothing you have to push through, like Pennsylvania into Ohio, before you even get to even close to where you want to be. So within maybe 36 hours, I was like, Oh God, I don't know if I can even drive past Ohio. There's like nothing here it's just me versus, you know, herds of 18 wheelers and nothing really to see or do. And those first couple nights I was trying to drive as much as I could. I was driving until I was too tired to go further. And I'm sleeping in my car. And I was like, am I going to have to turn around before getting anywhere? That's when I was like, Oh God Oh, what did I get myself into? Sleeping in the car for two hours at 3am. Maybe this isn't for me. And oh, maybe I should just go home, crawl into bed, take a shower, say nevermind and tell my parents they were right. You know, I did have a huge fear of people in general strangers. And it's a valid fear. I'm not gonna say that I never pulled into like a rest area where I thought it was going to sleep and saw 30 trucks parked and said nevermind and kept going. You know I'm not that trusting. I had a dog and I would tell anyone if you must travel long distance alone and you don't have your own borrow a road dog that knows how to sleep in the backseat for extended periods of time. Because when you're sleeping alone in your car at a love struck stopped and you've never even been to a truck stop and it's your first night and you're scared it really helps to have a paw to put your hand on. He's a really goofy soft dog, but he is really big. So when you're traveling no one knows that he's like a nice doggy, cuts a pretty imposing figure. One of our fun bonding moments early on was when we stopped in the town in Illinois with all the world's largest stuff. And I have a video on their me bringing him to the world's largest wind chime and we quote unquote rang it together. And then he proceeded to roll in the grass in front of a keep off the grass sign. It was really funny, but he really liked the windchime. He also really loved one of the special things we did was every time we stopped at Love's truck stop. They all have dog parks. So we started taking pictures every dog park we stopped at if you go to the truck stops page a lot of times they repost people who stopped and it became like a way of working with progress.
Megan Feighery
Even though she had Thor,, Carolyn didn't feel totally comfortable sleeping in her car. But she did have her cheap camping equipment, so she decided to use it.
Carolyn Hochlowski
The first place I camp was Grand State Park in Missouri. And I was vastly underprepared for camping. I had a tent and a tarp. That was an interesting sleep for me. Turns out you there are things you can buy to make camping more comfortable. I just didn't think about that because they didn't really plan. So I was pretty rough. You know, the first night I slept in a tent, I was like, Okay, well, I stopped doing this and I didn't die. I kind of enjoyed it. Oh, maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe you're not that person anymore.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn surprised herself and she gained a bit more confidence. She wanted to finish what she'd started. So she kept on driving right through Kansas.
Carolyn Hochlowski
You want to see something really surreal. I had never seen a wind farm before. Between here and Nebraska there's not a whole lot of visual interruptions. Other than the windmills. You know, they all have those blinking red lights on or midnight. They're very hypnotic when you're driving, and that's all you see.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn made it through Kansas. And her next stop was Colorado where she had some family. She stopped to spend time with them and rest a bit before heading on to Utah.
Carolyn Hochlowski
I am with my mother's family in Colorado Springs. And I was going on to the next stop. And there was a road closure. And the road closure gave me two choices. I could go back and stay another night in the Springs which was too far to turn around. Or I could take a detour that was going to add some time but it was going to keep me moving forward. And I took the detour. Absolutely insane rainstorm. Not ideal driving conditions. It's really narrow. It's through the mountains, imagine like a no shoulder road. But where the end of the road is it's just rock straight up because it cuts through a mountain. You couldn't pull over if you wanted to. So you can't stop. And it was just pouring rain. It was dark. It was windy. I had a truck in front of me and a truck behind me. And I just reached that point where I'm like, Oh no, I shouldn't have done this. And it was just the kind of torrential downpour where you want to put your flashers on and drive 10 miles an hour or pull over and I physically could not stop my car and I felt like I was trapped on this road. It was just one of those moments where I was like you literally have no choice but to keep going you know. Sometimes taking the detour versus doubling back sometimes you really should just say, Alright, I'm gonna wait this out. I didn't know how long the road was going to be close for. I think I found out later the road stayed closed for another few days. So when it mattered anyway, I would have still have had to do that drive but just leaving not at night, not in the rain. It's one of those things where you tell people later on on your journey and they're like wouldn't have recommended you do that but okay.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn made it out of Colorado safely, but her confidence was shaken. She arrived in Utah exhausted but Utah had a lot of surprises in store. A friend had recommended she check out Sego Canyon just across the Colorado border.
Carolyn Hochlowski
It's like a whole other planet. It is one of the most magical places I've ever been.
Carolyn Hochlowski
It's like a ghost town when you pull in and it felt like home. It has all petroglyphs on it and unfortunately been vandalized but you can still see The old drawings on it. And if you didn't know was there, you would go right by it. It's very like unfinished. There's not like ramps and pathways, there's no sign, you just drive down this dirt road to nowhere. And then you're literally driving through the canyon. And there's nobody there. And it feels like you're going to this little secret spot nobody knows about. And I drove out before sunrise. And I laid down on the ground, I just felt compelled to lay this down, on the ground in the middle of this, and then the sun came over the edge of the canyon, and I felt this silent heat kind of passed over me. Hearing the birds coming to life, as the sun came up, and feeling the temperature shifts, and the wind shift, and just being alone in this space. And they don't really know a lot about who painted on the walls or what it means. But I felt connected to those people that live there. And I cried because I've never seen anything so, I don't know. It was just me and the earth. And I knew no one is going to interrupt my moment. This world is so full of stuff and people. There's not a lot of places where I live where you can go and just be alone. And just be one with the planet. All of humanity past present future. That's what I saw. It was truly profound.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn felt renewed after Utah. It reminded her why she took this journey in the first place. She felt joyous and ready to tackle the next leg of her adventure. One night in Nevada, Carolyn set up camp next to a couple in the morning. She and Thor were making breakfast when the husband came over.
Credit: Carolyn Hochlowski
Carolyn Hochlowski
And he looked a little rough around the edges. And he came out and he just started talking at me and I couldn't stop it. All right, we're camping neighbors, I guess I gotta be polite. And he just looked like the kind of person that would be maybe a little questionable. And he ended up offering me some coffee and just wanting to have a nice chat. Him and his wife were living there. They were kind of like camping nomads. And they both seemed like they had maybe had a tough go of life where he just wanted to share his coffee and have a chat. So it was interesting that the person who initially I found like maybe I should avoid this guy ended up just wanting somebody to talk to you. And that's not to say that it couldn't have gone the other way. But I had the opposite experiences of what I thought I would have had with strangers. I was very fortunate.
Megan Feighery
From Nevada it was on to California, the last stop on Carolyn's journey west. But she had to get there first.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Oh I didn't realize California and had so much desert. And it was August and it was very hot, it was actually really unpleasant honestly going into Cali because that portion of the drive is very arid and there's like one rest stop. It's just desert. So I was actually a little scared. What if I run out of gas? Because there's nothing. So I was a little bit just wanting to get through that and then I hit the LA traffic and I was like you got to be kidding me. 100 degree desert into like Manhattan level traffic. So what was going through my mind was, why did I do this to myself again? I was just so overwhelmed after being in like the vast open beautiful space and latest open landscapes and mountains and gorgeous and desert and then all of a sudden I was in the vice grip of the city again I was honestly like oh god.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn finally made it through the traffic and found a place to park near the Santa Monica Pier. From there she Thor made their way out to the Pacific Ocean. Carolyn had pictured this moment so many times as she drove cross country. In the movie version of her journey, it would be the climax. The moment she would know she had made it and become a different person. In real life, it was, well, underwhelming.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Yeah, there was no swelling music. You know nothing against the Pacific Ocean, but it's about the same as the Atlantic Ocean back home. The cathartic moment happened elsewhere and prior to the ocean. I was underwhelmed by LA but I didn't see much of it. Soon as I got there, I was ready. I missed being able to put my car on cruise control at 100 miles an hour, take my hands off the wheel in Kansas.
Megan Feighery
It was somewhat disappointing. Carolyn just didn't feel the way she thought she would when she got to California. And after regaining her trust in people, she had a weird encounter on the beach.
Carolyn Hochlowski
And somebody walked up to us to pet Thor and he barked in a way that I hadn't seen before. And I was like no actually can't pet the dog.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn and Thor didn't stay in LA long. Carolyn had only taken off two weeks and she needed to get back to New York. Plus she was ready to go home. But the adventure wasn't over yet. Carolyn took I-80 back home, which took her right through Wyoming.
Carolyn Hochlowski
And it was on her way back and I was very tired, it was just exhausting. And then we stopped in Wyoming there was a big storm where there was a lot of wind,which may be something that is familiar with living in Wyoming. I still wasn't great at putting out the tent, didn't stake it down and I thought we're gonna blow away, and Thor just like laid on me like a body pillow almost. And I was for some reason just so scared of the wind storm where I thought the tent was gonna fall to pieces, and it was raining and then it started leaking and there was just water coming everywhere. And I covered us up with a layer of trash bags. Just had to get through the night. Nothing was really going to happen we at a KOA, wasn't that serious. But in that moment when it's dark and you don't know where you are, it can be very, very scary. The whole point had been of bringing the dog was to have company. I definitely bonded with him as far as like my confidence.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn and Thor made it through the night and left Wyoming the next morning. There wasn't really any time to stop and take in the sights on the way back. So it was just long stretches of driving.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Was way worse on the way back, I was just so over it. I think the hardest day was the last day because when you've been driving for two weeks straight, you're oh good. I only have to go four more hours. Think that was maybe the longest four hours of the whole trip.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn and Thor eventually made it and she says it felt strange being back home.
Carolyn Hochlowski
It was like that vacation, like your first day back to work after a vacation sadness.
Megan Feighery
Carolyn also had to return Thor to his owner.
Carolyn Hochlowski
Actually went back to the guy I was seeing at the time who got me to go on this trip. And we were going to meet back at his house in Woodstock. I had thought that he would be back when I got back and he wasn't. So I was wanting some kind of tearful reunion, where he was going to run out and hug me, you know, the movie moment where I was gonna get lifted into the air and my legs, swing my legs around and get a big hug, cry and just fall into his arms. And he wasn't home yet. So I just pulled into the driveway and the chickens ran out to greet my car like always, and there was no one home. So it was just me still, it almost felt like it didn't happen. I don't know how to describe it felt like it wasn't real. Like it was that a fever dream? Did that actually happen? Almost like whiplash going back to reality. For what it's worth, we no longer see each other. And the relationship itself, I will not remember it as a perfect relationship. But that maybe was the push I needed to do something. Without that initial push and whatever crazy early relationship whoo feelings that you get. Without that I probably wouldn't have done it. I would have had a life where I would have done on my deathbed going you know, I never did take that cross country trip. Because somehow I went from the kid that was like, if you make me go camping one more time, I'm disowning you guys as my parents, to like doing this wild thing where I had to learn how to make a fire. I haven't just become a completely different person where now I'm just a rabid outdoorsman and I'm planning to hike the Appalachian Trail. I think I realized what I had been missing. And it was a little sad, actually, because when I was younger, and I didn't want to do stuff outside. I clung on to it like not wanting to go outside was like a personality trait. So I was almost sad. When I came back. I said, Oh, what else I left. And it just taught me that being open to try new things. Being able to reassess as you get older, not holding so tightly onto that. I didn't like it then therefore I can never like it. pigeon holed myself so hard. Turns out, that's not how life works. People can change.
Megan Feighery
Our storyteller today was Carolyn Huchlowski. Carolyn still lives in New York and says she definitely remained open to try new things. That includes camping in a cow pasture in South Dakota and taking up rollerskating Carolyn no longer sees Thor since her relationship ended and she says she really misses him. But she's got a sweet cat of her own, babysits her friends dogs when they're out of town, and has even fostered puppies. For photos from this episode follow us on social media. We're @humanaturepodcast on Instagram and Facebook. On X, formerly Twitter, we're @humanaturepod. And if you have a story to share, let us know. We are always happy to hear from our listeners and who knows you could be featured on an upcoming season. I'm Megan Feighery This episode was produced by me with help from Melodie Edwards and Steven Carroll. Our theme song is by Caught a Ghost. HumaNature is a production of Wyoming Public Media.